Between A Rock And A Hard Place
by motown lady
Summary: Amanda King has some tough decisions to make as she sees her two worlds colliding. Set during "Double Agent." (To clear up any confusion for the readers, the character of Amanda's college friend is referenced in an early scene of "Ship Of Spies."
1. Chapter 1

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Chapter One

Amanda King was truly frightened this time. Ex-agent Doug Harriman's novel was surely to be the nail in her double life coffin and she had no way to stop it!

The Agency lawyers had tried to get an injunction put on the release, but it failed. No one was there when Amanda arrived home from work.

She went upstairs to pack a few bags. She didn't tell her boss Billy Melrose of her plans as she knew he would try to stop her or make plans for her relocation with her family.

In her mind, she thought it would be best to relocate herself. She didn't want her family to go through that nightmare.

Tearfully, she wrote a letter to her ex-husband Joe King, who was working with the EAO organization and currently living in Africa.

She wrote:

"Dear Joe,

I'm going away for a while to visit a friend in California. I've taken care of the mortgage and other monthly bills for now, but I'd appreciate it if you could come back here to look out for Mother and our boys.

I know it's a lot to ask, but I really need this time away. I wish I could explain why I'm doing this, but you will find out soon enough and when you do, you may not feel the same way about me any more."

Gulping her tears, she continued."I'll always cherish the memory of what we had early on, and the two children who fill our lives with such joy. Be here for them Joe. They'll need you now more than ever. Love, Amanda."

She addressed the envelope and putting a stamp on it, put it in her purse-she'd mail it on the way to the airport.

Getting a tissue she wiped her eyes as she began her next letter to her mother Dotty West:

"Dear Mother,

I'm going to California to visit a friend for a while. I don't know when I'll be back, but please don't worry. I've paid all the monthly bills including the mortgage and I've asked Joe to come back to look after you and the boys while I'm gone.

I so wish to be able to tell you what's been on my mind lately. Whenever I need a smile, a hug, or a nod of encouragement, you've always been there."

Crying, she continued,"I don't know what I would've done without you when Joe and I split up. I truly don't deserve a mother as wonderful as you. I'll be in touch soon. All my love, Amanda."

Blowing her nose and wiping her eyes, she wrote one final letter to her sons.

"Dear Phillip and Jamie,

I have a friend in California who needs me for a while, but your dad will be here with you and Grandma while I'm gone. I want you to behave for them and keep making me proud. You both are my greatest achievements. I wish I could take you with me, but you'll always be in my heart.

I'll love you forever, Mom."

Sighing, she put the family letters into envelopes and finished packing. Bringing everything down at last, she put the envelopes on the counter.

Taking a last look around, she saw the family's photo on the book shelf and went to take it down. Holding it lovingly to her chest she said quietly,"I hope someday you'll understand and can forgive me. I love you."

Putting it back on the shelf, she wiped her tears and cleared her throat and called her friend Kitty.

"Hi, it's Amanda. Would you mind terribly if we met in Long Beach instead of Arlington? It's just that I really need a vacation."

Kitty smiled."Not at all-my hubby and daughter are visiting his parents anyway in San Francisco-come on ahead-what time are you getting here?"

Amanda said,"I'm not sure- I'll call you when I get to Dulles. Thanks, Kit." Hanging up, she was about to leave when she saw the back door. Flooded with memories, tears fell as she sighed."I'm so sorry, Lee."

With that, she left the house and drove herself to Dulles. Buying a one-way ticket to Long Beach, she then called Kitty with the flight information giving her arrival time to be around dinner.

Kitty saw Amanda when she came through the terminal and was shocked! She really looked worn out even though putting on a happy face for Kitty.

What had Amanda been going through? It was more than just her needing a vacation, Kitty thought as she hugged her friend.

They got Amanda's bags and left the airport. Things were quiet for a time and then Kitty asked about her family and that's when Amanda broke down sobbing!

Kitty quickly pulled the car to a rest stop, parked to hold her friend, and said,"Everything's going to be all right, honey."

But Amanda shook her head."I-I don't think anything will be ever again..."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Chapter Two

Kitty Hokum sat up all night with Amanda as she went through the confusion and uncertainty that had been upsetting her lately. But all that Kitty could understand was that her friend was in utter turmoil at best. She mentioned no one in her rambles, only her friends at work who were also in trouble.

Kitty said,"Let me get you some tea to relax you, honey." As she went to her kitchen, Kitty noticed it was 3 AM. She decided to give Amanda a sedative to calm her down.

Kitty Hokum had been a licensed therapist for years and was able to prescribe medication only if absolutely necessary in her sessions. She put a mild sedative in Amanda's tea, seeing how overwrought the woman had been since arriving to Long Beach.

Coming back to the living room, she said,"Here's your tea..careful, it's hot, ok?"

Amanda nodded, and took a sip."Mmm. That's good. Kit, what do I do now?"

Kitty looked at her."About what?"

Amanda shrugged,"Well, do I stay here in Long Beach, or do I go home and try to deal with-?"

Kitty shook her head,"No, babe. What I think you should do is rest and relax here. I told you-we have the entire week together. Let's face it. We don't see each other that often any more, and I want us to catch up. After some sleep of course."

Amanda nodded and said,"Maybe you're right. I'm sorry if I dumped on you when I got here- you must get that too much on your off time."

Kitty smiled."It's okay. Hey, why don't we hit the sack, huh? You can take the tea with you."

She helped Amanda get settled in the guest room. Amanda had finished the tea and got ready for bed hugging her friend."Thanks so much, Kit-you're the best."

As Amanda laid down and dropped off to sleep, Kitty remembered Amanda's purse was still in the kitchen. Closing the door, she went down to the kitchen. Seeing it on the counter, she decided to try and find a clue as to what was going on with her friend.

She wanted to help Amanda any way she could. Looking through the purse, she found the usual things. Wallet, keys, compact, coupons, pen and scratch pad. Putting everything back, she noticed a card had fallen out of one of the pockets.

It was a card with the name Lee on it, and a phone number. Getting the pen, she neatly tore a piece of the scratch pad off and wrote down his name and number and put the pen and pad and card back in the purse.

Bringing the purse up, she quietly put it with Amanda's bags by the closet, and left to go to bed finally.

The next morning, Amanda woke to the smell of coffee, and wait? Bacon? She got up slowly, and went to shower and get dressed.

When she got down, she saw Kitty had a friend with her."Good morning. Sorry, I didn't know you were having company."

Kitty shook her head,"No, it's all right Amanda. This is my colleague, Rachel Taylor."

They shook hands and Amanda sat down as Kitty brought her coffee. Kitty said,"How did you sleep, Amanda?"

Amanda smiled."Terrific- guess I really needed it, huh?"

Kitty said," Well, these slumber parties can get rough..."

They giggled, and Kitty said,"Want some breakfast? Anything you want is here."

But Amanda shook her head,"No, just toast with my coffee. I'm really not very hungry."

Kitty joked,"C'mon, aren't you always saying how breakfast is the most important-."

Amanda yelled,"I said no, Kitty! Now, drop it! Sheesh!" Getting up, she went outside to walk in her friend's backyard.

Rachel looked at Amanda's figure strolling around, and said to Kitty,"From what you've told me which isn't much,she's normally a well-adjusted person, right?"

Kitty nodded."Yeah. Really a blast to hang out with. But you didn't see her when I picked her up at the airport-she was really out of it, but hiding behind her smiles. I know I broke the cardinal rule among friends."Thou shalt not snoop into friend's personal belongings." But I was worried."

Sighing, she said,"So, what do you think? Should I call this Lee person and not tell her? Or do I ask her straight out if he can help her?"

Rachel thought for a moment, and then said carefully,"She seems skittish at the moment. If you tell her, it may make her not trust you anyway and she may leave and you won't find her. But maybe this man can get through to her. Call him and find out if he can come here-maybe he's not aware that she's even gone."

But meanwhile at the Agency, Billy was grilling Lee on Amanda's whereabouts and Lee had no answers! Lee said,"I'm telling the truth, Billy! She was fine the other day. I told her we'd figure out some way to stop it."

Just then, Billy's phone rang."Melrose here. What line? Okay, I'll tell him."

Hanging up, he said to Lee,"Line three for you- long distance."

Lee picked up saying,"Yeah, Stetson... I'm sorry, who? Kitty Hokum?" Thinking hard, he suddenly said,"Wait- Amanda King's friend, right? Well, I'm sorry, Miss Hokum, Amanda's out of town at the moment- I don't know when- what? She's there with you?"

Sighing, he looked at Billy who nodded his relief."Is-is she okay? Look, let me talk to her if I may...oh, I see. No, that's fine." Listening for a few minutes, Lee nodded,"Sure, I can be there-uh-huh." He wrote down a few things and nodded."All right- I'll be there as soon as I can. Yeah, no problem. Thank you for calling, Miss Hokum. Bye."

Hanging up, Lee said,"Whew."

Billy looked concernedly at his younger agent."What's going on, Scarecrow?"

Lee swallowed hard saying,"Well, Amanda's friend is a therapist and old college chum who wants to help Amanda, but Amanda's all over the place, so she called me because my number's in Amanda's purse. She said that if Amanda knew I was coming, she'd bolt."

Billy shrugged,"Very astute woman. What else?"

Lee sighed,"Well, all she got out of Amanda last night was that she was trying to protect her family any way she could, so she left notes for them saying she'd be in touch soon."

Billy shook his head." Harriman's book really shook her up."

Lee nodded."Yeah, so now, I've gotta go out to Long Beach and talk Amanda down and bring her home. God, what a mess."

Billy sighed."You're not kidding. All right- you're both off the roster until she's back- in every sense of the word. Get going."

Lee nodded."Thanks, Billy. See you soon, huh?"

As Lee's plane was leaving Dulles and heading to California, he cursed the exsistence of Doug Harriman and his stupid novel! He then vowed to make Harriman pay if Amanda's condition got worse. Lee only hoped she would want to see him. He would soon find out..

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Chapter 3

Lee's plane landed after 1:00 PM at Long Beach International Airport. Getting his bags at the carousel he then went to the car rental section of the airport and managed to get one of the last cars available- a 4-door Sedan. Shaking his head, he suddenly missed his sports car.

He asked on the way out if he could use the phone. They obliged him, and he got Kitty's number out of his jacket pocket. Dialing her number, he hoped that Amanda was all right.

Kitty answered,"Hello?"

Lee cleared his throat."Miss Hokum? It's Lee Stetson. I've just landed, so I was wondering if I might come to your place, unless it's inconvenient right now?"

Kitty was in her kitchen and went out to her main hall, looking up the stairs towards the guest room where Amanda was.

She said,"No, it's fine, but when you park, could you come around the back? We'll talk outside on the patio- Amanda's resting right now."

Lee smiled at Kitty's suggestion about the back yard. If she only knew that's how he usually communicated with Amanda! "Fine- see you soon. Bye."

Chuckling, he got his bags, and took the keys and was on his way to Kitty's. It was a good 30 minute drive to her house, but he found it easy enough with her directions.

Getting out, he walked around to the back and saw a woman putting out lunch on her patio table."Miss Hokum?"

Kitty turned and smiled. "Mr. Stetson? Hi. Come on over- I've got lunch. I didn't know if you've eaten yet. Plane food isn't always the best, is it?"

The woman was petite, about Amanda's height, with sandy blond hair and blue eyes. She was friendly enough where Lee could see why Amanda was close to the woman.

Lee smiled, shaking her hand."Thank you. I was a little too keyed up to eat anyway. How is Amanda?"

They sat and Kitty said,"Well, I had a colleague here at breakfast. Amanda didn't eat- in fact she jumped on me for suggesting what to have- Amanda doesn't skip breakfast. I wanted to get her some lunch but she's refused that even, which is why she's upstairs."

Sighing Kitty said,"My colleague, Rachel Taylor, seems to think that if you can't get through to Amanda, that maybe she'll need professional help."

Lee said,"We work together at IFF-we had a situation there that impacted the whole staff, and Amanda is shouldering the blame for most of the problem. It was an outsider that caused the situation to balloon out of control... you see, Miss Hokum-."

Kitty said,"Kitty, please."

Lee smiled,"Kitty-thanks. IFF works for the government, and some things were leaked-confidential things and-."

Kitty was surprised."They're blaming Amanda for it?"

Lee nodded."Yeah- not me or our boss, but people that don't know her or the situation itself. Anyway, I came to take her home. Our boss is taking care of the instigators of this. He wants her back-."

Just then, Amanda came out to the patio furious! "God, Kitty! I trusted you! How could you call him? You know I wanted to work this out myself!"

The two stood up and Kitty said,"Work out what, Amanda?! You haven't told me anything really since you got here!"

Lee interjected,"Amanda, she was concerned. That's all, and so am I. Look, why don't we take a walk, huh? Just the two of us?"

Amanda's eyes flooded with tears as she turned from him! "Y-you can't help me...nobody can!" She ran off toward the front of the house, and tires squealed just then! Kitty and Lee ran out to the driveway, and saw Amanda lying in the street, not moving!

Lee yelled at the driver who hit her,"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Didn't you see her?!"

The man shook his head,"Honest mister-she came outta nowhere-didn't even look-just ran out!"

Lee knelt by Amanda and put two fingers to her neck, and nodded to Kitty."She's got a pulse- call an ambulance!"

The ambulance came and they brought her to the nearest hospital, Long Beach Care.

Kitty filled out forms for Amanda while Lee talked to a nurse. Coming back, Lee grumbled,"I'm not family, so I can't get in there."

Kitty said,"It's okay- I'm here a lot seeing patients. I'll be right back."

As she went to talk to a doctor, Lee called Billy to tell him the latest on Amanda.

Billy said,"Is she all right?"

Lee said,"Her friend Kitty is a therapist here-at least she'll be able to see her. The gist of it is, Amanda thinks no one can help her."

Billy said,"Well, prove to her that you can. By the way, I just got off the phone with our lawyers- the President himself put the kabash on Harriman's book, labeling him to all the media as a disgruntled ex-employee, and made damn sure he was put on ice!"

Lee shook his head,"God, Billy, what a relief! What now?"

Billy sighed."Well, you take care of Amanda, while I work on her family."

Lee said concerned."Her family?"

Billy said,"Yes- her mother's been asking if we've seen or talked to her. I had to tell her I hadn't-what do you want me to tell her?"

Lee sighed,"Tell her she is with her friend from California, but that's all you know-that she didn't stay on the phone too long, but that she's all right."

Billy said,"It gets too easy to lie on this job."

Lee nodded."I know- I 'll keep you posted." He hung up as Kitty came out."How's Amanda?"

Kitty shrugged,"The doctor's checking her out now. We'll know soon."

They went to sit in the waiting area, and Kitty said,"How did you meet? I know she did a pet sitting job for a while."

Lee said,"We met at the train station in Arlington- I was in a tough spot and she helped me out. She's always trying to help others before thinking of herself."

Kitty smiled. "She got the job at IFF after that, right?"

Lee nodded,"Yes, but I wasn't very cooperative with her in the beginning-you know, showing her the ropes? Anyway, she came into her own after a while-slowly, but she did it. She's still learning of course, but I never wanted her to feel like she couldn't come to me if she really had a problem."

Kitty nodded."I know. One of the things about Amanda is that she always comes across as self-reliant. Should I call her mother?"

Lee shook his head."Our boss has already spoken to her- apparently, she thought we'd heard from her, but he told her that Amanda was with her friend and that she's all right.''

Kitty looked at Lee thoughtfully. "Mr. Stetson-."

Lee smiled."Lee."

Kitty smiled back."Lee. What exactly can't you tell me about your job-or Amanda, for that matter?"

Lee sighed."Kitty, I told you. IFF works for the Government, and there are things we know that can't be revealed to protect innocent lives."

Kitty shook her head,"Oh my god! "The Arlene Francis Show"?! That book author?"

Lee shook his head."One and the same. I can't tell you the specifics of the situation, only that he had a grudge to bear for many of us and by writing and releasing the book, he thought he could get us all canned."

Kitty swallowed hard." And to think Amanda blamed herself enough to leave. I could just shake that man!"

Just then, the doctor came out. The two stood up, and Kitty said,"Craig, what are we looking at? Is Amanda going to be okay?"

The doctor looked at Lee. "I'm Craig Thompson- the on-call doctor."

Kitty said,"I'm sorry- this is Lee Stetson-a friend of Amanda's. How is she?"

Dr. Thompson said,"Well, she has a slight concussion with some bumps and bruises-she should be all right in a day or two, but I recommend lots of TLC over the next week. She's awake now, but hasn't said too much- is that normal?"

Lee half smiled."No, not really, but she's been through a lot lately Doc- but thank you for the good news. May we see her?"

Dr. Thompson said,"Well, as a matter of fact, she asked for you, Mr. Stetson."

Lee looked at Kitty with relief and she said,"Go on-I'll be with her soon enough."

Lee went into Amanda's room, and Amanda sighed, wiping her eyes with a tissue."I'm sorry Lee- I just didn't know what to do..."

Lee pulled a chair over, sat and took her hand."Hey, hey... none of that now. I just don't know why you didn't come to me or Billy instead of taking off like you did. Y-you scared us."

Amanda said quietly,"Well, you would have really been scared by the notes I left my family. Besides, you would've just tried talking me out of leaving. I really felt like I had no choice. It was my fault- Sandstorm, that is."

Lee held up a hand."W-what notes?"

Amanda gulped,"The goodbye notes-."

Lee groaned. Amanda jumped in with,"You really don't know how scared I was, Lee. I-I didn't want my family going through the relocation nightmare- I thought I would handle it myself-to save them!"

Lee squeezed her hand."Amanda-don't you know by now I would've helped you? You trusted me all this time, right?"

Amanda nodded slowly."Yes, but you've had more time to process what comes with a relocation- I haven't-and I had no clue what to tell my family- my mother would have a million questions and the boys- I can't just rename them- it's ridiculous, and-!"

Lee patted her hands."Amanda! Stop-please! I'm here to tell you that when you're all better, we can go home. Billy heard from the President himself. He put Harriman and his book on ice, so just relax all right?"

Amanda said meekly,"Really?"

Lee nodded, smiling at her."Really. So, for the next week partner, you are to relax and recoup at Kitty's so we can leave, okay?"

Amanda shook her head."All those notes I wrote- Joe and Mother must be frantic."

Lee said,"Billy's telling your mom that you're at your friend's and that you're fine- that's the story we're sticking to."

Just then, Kitty came in."Okay if an old friend comes in? I promise I won't call your mom?"

Amanda held out her arms and Kitty went to her, hugging her."God, girl! You really scared us, you know?"

Amanda sniffed and nodded."I know-my head's been all over the place lately-can we start over, Kit?"

Kitty smiled stroking her."You bet, honey. Lee, you're welcome to stay at the house as well if you'd like."

Lee looked slightly uncomfortable and said shyly,"Uh, no that's okay- I don't want to intrude."

Kitty joked,"What? All we'll be doing is staying up late, doing each other's hair and makeup and talking about men-what's to intrude on?"

Amanda giggled slightly aware of her headache."Well, Lee can inform us on what he knows about women first hand..."

Lee groaned,"Aww c'mon, Amanda."

Kitty snorted."Really? Well, that should be very enlightening-you're on!"

Lee could tell this would be an interesting but embarrassing week for him, but as long as Amanda healed, he would make the most of it.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Chapter 4

As Kitty pulled her car into the driveway, she stopped and parked. Lee helped Amanda out while Kitty went to unlock her front door. As they all came in, Kitty heard the phone ringing and went to get it in the kitchen.

Lee led Amanda to the living room couch and helped her sit down. Amanda shook her head."Lee, honestly, I'm fine. Please stop fussing."

Lee sighed. Amanda was at her top form of stubbornness. "Look, you heard the doctor. You aren't gonna be okay for a while yet, so you have to just let us help you."

Just then, Kitty came into the room and said,"I'm afraid I have to go."

Amanda said,"What's up, Kit?"

Kitty said,"That was my husband Tom-seems that the family's down with the flu. So, I'm gonna have to go and take care of things-but I don't want to leave you, Amanda."

Lee said,"Well, we'll manage-."

Amanda said,"Yeah, I'll go pack and-." She stood up and got slightly dizzy. Lee helped her sit down again.

He said,"No- we're not going anywhere until you're able to-that is if it's all right with you Kitty."

Kitty smiled."That's great-stay as long as you need to-at least I won't have to worry about Amanda."

Amanda shook her head."Do I have any say in this at all, guys?"

Lee said,"Yeah, how about " Thank you for not leaving me to fend for myself." That would suffice."

Amanda gritted her teeth at him."You're really pushing it Stetson."

Lee and Kitty smiled at one another, and Lee said,"See? She likes the idea already!"

Kitty saw Amanda sneer back at him and said,"Well, I'd better go up and pack. Lee, I left plenty of food and supplies since I went to the store before Amanda came here-help yourselves."

Kitty went upstairs and Amanda said,"Thanks, Kit."

Lee then sat down next to her and said,"Can I get you anything?"

Amanda swallowed hard, feeling tears come to her eyes."N-no, I think I'm just gonna lay down for a while-I'm tired."

Lee said," All right-c'mon, I'll walk you up."

They went slowly up and got to her room and Kitty came in."Your meds are in the bathroom-I could-."

Amanda said,"Could you both leave me alone right now? Please? Kitty, have a good flight-see you later-hope everyone's better soon. Lee, just...leave."

Amanda closed the door on Lee and Kitty. He helped Kitty down with her bags, saying,"I sure wish I could take you to the airport."

Kitty giggled, pointing upstairs."Oh, because of that? Aw, she's just frustrated, Lee-she'll be all right."

Lee sighed."I hope so."

They got to Kitty's car outside, and Lee helped load her trunk. Kitty hugged him."Thanks for being here for her-not exactly the week she and I had planned, but there's always next year..."

Lee smiled."Hopefully, we can go back to D.C. soon. Have a safe flight."

He watched her leave and went back into the house. Going to the kitchen he got on the phone and called Billy.

Billy said,"How's Amanda?"

Lee sat at the kitchen table."She has a slight concussion so the doctor wants her to take it easy for the next week. Her friend had to join her family in San Francisco-flu bug stuff, so I'm here."

Billy smiled."Well, I'm sure Amanda appreciates it."

Lee scoffed."Not so you'd notice-but I'll make the best of it."

Amanda had come in just then and said,"Are you talking to Mr. Melrose? May I speak to him?"

Lee nodded and said,"Amanda wants to talk to you..."

He handed her the phone, letting her sit where he was. Amanda said,"Hello, sir."

Billy said,"How are you, dear? You had us pretty worried. I told your mother where you were. Are you going to call her?"

Amanda sighed,"Yes sir. Sir, I told Lee that I left goodbye notes for my family because I wanted to deal with this myself. I felt that if they could stay together that would be my way of protecting them."

Billy nodded."I understand Amanda. But that's not necessary any more. One thing however. You didn't leave a note for Lee? Why not?"

Amanda sighed."Well sir, I didn't know really what to say. I mean, I've been nothing but trouble for him from the beginning, and I thought it wouldn't matter anyway since I thought we wouldn't see each other again-until my friend called him."

Billy said,"Well, she did the right thing. Whether or not you believe this, Lee was worried. And Lee knows that I want your partnership to work-since I put you two together that first day. "

He cleared his throat and said,"Now, the sooner you let Lee help you, the sooner you can both come home and you can be back with your family, all right dear? Take care, and let me talk to Lee again."

Amanda said,"Yes sir. Thank you." Handing the phone back to Lee, she said,"I'll be upstairs."

Lee watched her go and said to Billy."Boy, I dunno what you said, but it helped obviously. What was that all about?"

Billy said,"She hadn't included you in her goodbyes when she left, and I wondered why."

Lee said,"Care to fill me in?"

Billy smiled."So long, Scarecrow." He hung up saying,"You'll find out soon enough." Chuckling, he went back to work.

Lee looked at the receiver and shook his head as he hung up. He said,"Well, I guess I'll have to ask Amanda about this."

As he headed upstairs, it suddenly dawned on him that Amanda felt that she didn't matter to him-on any level, which is why she didn't leave him a goodbye note. And why it was bothering him at all really got to him. He wanted to clear the air once and for all and hoped that she did too.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Chapter 5

Lee knocked on Amanda's door. She said,"Come in."

Lee came in slowly,"Are you all right? Because I think we need to talk."

Amanda nodded."Yeah. We do need to talk, I guess. Sit down."

Lee sat on the chair near the window. Amanda sat on the bed and sighed.

Lee said,"What's wrong? I mean usually, you don't have any problem in that area."

Amanda said quietly,"I know, and usually, I know what I want to say, but you're here now and I think I'm losing my nerve."

Lee said,"Just talk to me-c'mon, your family's not here, Kitty, the Agency-we're alone."

Amanda said,"Fine. I didn't leave you a note because it didn't matter because we aren't that way with each other-I mean, we work together but that's all...I think."

Lee shook his head." Whoa-wait. You mean we're not friends anymore? I don't get it. I mean, I know things have been crazy lately, but if you had just come to me, we could've worked this out together, like we always do on cases-."

Amanda shook her head."No, of course we're friends, but normal friends come for dinner and I can share them, but you aren't normal-no offense."

Lee snorted."None taken-but please, continue. I'd love to hear how you explain this one!"

Amanda said,"I just mean that if we were to be relocated, I didn't need to leave you a letter, because I'd never see you again. But my family was different- they needed to know how much I cared."

Lee slowly took a breath and letting it out said,"Wow."

Amanda said,"What do you mean, wow?"

Lee got up and paced and then looked out the window." Billy and Francine are like family to me-always have been and I just thought that since being at the Agency, you might feel the same way about us. I know we don't get real personal there, but we're there for each other when it really counts- I-I thought you knew that."

Amanda said,"Well, how could I? All you do is spout the ever-loving "Just business", or "We're playing a cover."

Lee sighed."Okay- I get it. I'm not good with people."

Amanda shrugged,"Or me, for that matter."

Lee gave her a surprised look, and she said,"Oh, look-it's not your fault. Growing up with an uncle who wasn't big on affection-you couldn't help but be a little like him."

Amanda then got up from the bed and went to take his hand and said,"Thank you for coming out here-that showed me that you did actually care and I'm beginning to realize how wrong I was thinking that you didn't. I'm sorry."

Lee smiled gently and squeezed her hand."It's all right. Hey, do you feel up to a walk now?"

Amanda smiled warmly."Sure, but I think I should call my mother finally-let her know I'm okay. Don't worry- I won't tell her about you."

Lee said,"I'll be downstairs. Let me know when you're ready."

Amanda nodded and he left the room. Staring at the phone, she knew it would be a hard phone call. She dialed and waited. On the third ring, Dotty West answered."Hello?"

Amanda sighed,"Hello, Mother, it's me."

Dotty was beside herself! "Darling, it's so good to hear your voice! Are you all right? The notes you left us-well, we just didn't know what to think!"

Amanda nodded."Yes, Mother- I'm fine- I'm sorry I worried you all. It's just that I was going through something that I thought no one could help me with, so I felt a little lost. I felt I needed to work it out on my own. I really am sorry."

Dotty gulped back her tears saying,"W-well, as long as you're all right, that's all that matters. You are coming home soon, aren't you?"

Amanda smiled."Yes, but I caught a virus while I was here, so I can't be flying yet. I'll call as soon as I'm able to leave. How are my boys?"

Dotty smiled."They're in school right now, but they miss their mother terribly. I am glad Joe is here for them, though. He's out running a few errands."

Amanda said,"Tell him thank you for me and give the boys hugs and kisses all right? I'm gonna get some more rest. I love you, Mother."

Dotty smiled."I love you too, honey. Take care."

They hung up and Amanda went down to the kitchen, where she found Lee packing a huge lunch in a basket."Hi-what are you doing?"

Lee smiled as he checked Kitty's wine supply and took a bottle putting it in the basket and then adding the plates and cutlery and two plastic glasses."I figured I should try normal-what do you think? Picnic on the beach sound good?"

Amanda said softly."Wow-are you sure?"

Lee nodded and gave her a wink."Ready?"

Amanda said,"Yeah- let me grab a sweater."

They were on the road in no time. The beach was less than 2 miles away from Kitty's place. As Lee drove, he smiled thinking for the first time in a while, he was truly happy and it was thanks to Amanda. Maybe he could manage normal.

Amanda took in the scenery as they made their way to the beach. If anyone had told her a year ago that she and Lee Stetson would wind up as normal friends, she would have thought they were crazy. She told herself not to expect miracles, but today's actions spoke volumes to her.

Who knows? Maybe he'd grow to like normal-with her help, of course.

The End


End file.
